There are those times, trying as we may, to get next to God; He seems disconnected somehow. Like walking in a dry desert. As I was writing, listening to music and praying...the Presence of God drew so near, and He began to speak to me as I poured out my thoughts, my prayers, my concerns, and my confessions. It occured to me, it is like the relationship I have with my husband. There are days we are so warm and in tune with each other, and then there are days it seems as if we go thru the mechanics of the daily grind. The love is there always...but something feels different...distant...not on the same wave.
It is that way with God. An author once wrote about those " near moments" as thin places in the veil separating flesh from spirit-- that allows the Spirit to draw us near...into the Spirit realm while still abiding in the worldly realm. Life gets hectic, sin darkens us, sorrows weigh us, fears hinder, emotions disturb, others wound us, and the dailly grind brings us to an uphill climb that we are too weary to do--or too rebellious to care to even try.
My Christmas season began filled with hope and certain promises made to myself. It ended with disappointment, sorrow, anger, wounds, and a very thirsty soul needing a drink of the Living Water. How did this happen? I sat to write in my journal, and to pray...and as I pondered...me and God had a long talk.
As I was writing and praying, He began to show me my life, how fast time is flying and what has transpired in the past years...and then He opened up Psalm 139. Oh how I now grasped what David was saying...he was reflecting on his life and his trials and sorrows...realizing that God was always there in all the dark places, places of his sin and rebellion, the less than pure and holy times...the daily grind had worn him as well; but God allowed his journey to go some sad places. He'd already known where the journey of David's soul would take him. God's heart was weeping as he watched David do some horrible things, and He was there when he did them...knowing that eventually the journey would bring David to a "thin place" where he would recognize who God is, how He loves, and why He allowed the pitfalls and struggles and rebellion.
I began to see how my journey began, that the Lord knew me before I was in the womb, knew my heart, and in spite of my sins, would grant me entrance into His Kingdom; because His Son would make a new and living way for me. That "living way" is also the journey I would take...in this life, in this time and place. He knew the choices I would make, the anger I would have, the wrong turns, and the perilous ventures, and He also knew where I would end up. He knew my heart long before I did...just as He knew David long before he would come face to face with himself in the Presence of God!
Psalm 139 now had a personal meaning as the Lord illuminated this was a Psalm about the journey of souls...those whom He knew would come to Him, that were predestined by their "hearts" that found favor with God. Imperfect, learning, growing, surrendering, broken and contrite...always returning and renewing "hearts" living and moving forward closer to the end of the road...but only beginning the best part of the journey.
Perhaps this is why many older folks seem to mellow and change in the golden years...filled with a deeper wisdom, a surrendered and quiet understanding, and prepared future. All our plans, dreams, and works mean nothing as much as a learning, loving, seeking soul. God desires us --not our happenings. No matter where I have been...He has been there; and knows the outcome of it all. While He may have sorrowed over me...He smiles because He has seen the ending!
It is that way with God. An author once wrote about those " near moments" as thin places in the veil separating flesh from spirit-- that allows the Spirit to draw us near...into the Spirit realm while still abiding in the worldly realm. Life gets hectic, sin darkens us, sorrows weigh us, fears hinder, emotions disturb, others wound us, and the dailly grind brings us to an uphill climb that we are too weary to do--or too rebellious to care to even try.
My Christmas season began filled with hope and certain promises made to myself. It ended with disappointment, sorrow, anger, wounds, and a very thirsty soul needing a drink of the Living Water. How did this happen? I sat to write in my journal, and to pray...and as I pondered...me and God had a long talk.
As I was writing and praying, He began to show me my life, how fast time is flying and what has transpired in the past years...and then He opened up Psalm 139. Oh how I now grasped what David was saying...he was reflecting on his life and his trials and sorrows...realizing that God was always there in all the dark places, places of his sin and rebellion, the less than pure and holy times...the daily grind had worn him as well; but God allowed his journey to go some sad places. He'd already known where the journey of David's soul would take him. God's heart was weeping as he watched David do some horrible things, and He was there when he did them...knowing that eventually the journey would bring David to a "thin place" where he would recognize who God is, how He loves, and why He allowed the pitfalls and struggles and rebellion.
I began to see how my journey began, that the Lord knew me before I was in the womb, knew my heart, and in spite of my sins, would grant me entrance into His Kingdom; because His Son would make a new and living way for me. That "living way" is also the journey I would take...in this life, in this time and place. He knew the choices I would make, the anger I would have, the wrong turns, and the perilous ventures, and He also knew where I would end up. He knew my heart long before I did...just as He knew David long before he would come face to face with himself in the Presence of God!
Psalm 139 now had a personal meaning as the Lord illuminated this was a Psalm about the journey of souls...those whom He knew would come to Him, that were predestined by their "hearts" that found favor with God. Imperfect, learning, growing, surrendering, broken and contrite...always returning and renewing "hearts" living and moving forward closer to the end of the road...but only beginning the best part of the journey.
Perhaps this is why many older folks seem to mellow and change in the golden years...filled with a deeper wisdom, a surrendered and quiet understanding, and prepared future. All our plans, dreams, and works mean nothing as much as a learning, loving, seeking soul. God desires us --not our happenings. No matter where I have been...He has been there; and knows the outcome of it all. While He may have sorrowed over me...He smiles because He has seen the ending!
