AMAZING WHAT I CAN LEARN WEEDING THE FLOWERS!

It's a sad thing to see a beautiful flower garden overrun by weeds...but then it's also sad to be so concerned about weeding and not plant seeds of beauty within one's own soul!  I didn't work as hard on the flowers this year, because I was so in need of working on the cultivating the beauty of my own spirit.  Selfish, yep! Sure was!  I knew that flowers would come and go...but I only have one life to live and one soul to nourish and One I must answer to.

This summer, reminded me how short life can be!  Two of my husband's great-nephews were murdered horribly this summer...very bright and thriving young men.  It rocked the community and it devastated the families and it messed with my faith big time!  Oh I never doubted God or blamed Him in any way---but the struggle was and still is...with the flesh versus the spirit!  The total war of satan against humanity is ongoing and we can get surprised by a grenade exploding the unexpected, unbelievable, the shock into our secure and mundane lives!  Who knew that morning that lives would  be lost, altered and shattered?  The agony of 9/11 hit our whole nation as a people...the horror of anyone who is a parent, grandma, high school kid, neighbor...learning two kids were brutally and savagely killed...is just as heart-wrenching!

People think Christians should be perfect, "ought to know better", and never disappoint others.  The very same folks will scream that its all fake, made up stuff, just a cult, and don't wish to believe it and call us feeble-minded and delusional.  Yet somehow they know...a Christian is supposed to be good.  Most are good.  We are human, and being human, are subject to the same passions to sin as everyone else...the only difference is--we strive daily to try to change that!

Being outdoors and working in removing the weeds choking out my flowers spoke to me about my neglect of my spirit.  I needed to go to prayer to first seek counsel on what "weeds" were overtaking my soul.  You know there are different kinds of weeds...some are really tough to remove even with both hands and gloves!  There are those that pop out easily...and some are vine-like and sneak around and twist into unseen places!  Now doesn't that sound familiar? When I got to pulling and digging...I ran into some other "enemies".  Amazing how some varmints have to hide under rocks...yep!  Move that big rock and ewwww....icky slimy bugs....same with our spirit.  Some otherwise unnoticed sins can be lurking in hidden places not so obvious!  That is why the Scriptures call the Holy Spirit the "searchlight of the soul"...He will illuminate what we need to see; but first we have to let Him look around and be willing to observe and hear what He tells us.

I had to spend time reading and renewing my mind to think like Christ.  The hardest part of that is that folks assume that means we should always think good things about people and accept whatever they do and always forgiving.  That would be nice if humanity were ever able to achieve it just by wishing it so!  Then there's the fact, that not everything is accepted.  There are things we are told NOT to accept, NOT to allow, and NOT to participate in as well.  God is Love but He is also Justice...Vengeance...Truth...and Wrath.  The world likes to only focus on God's Goodness and Love when its convenient and let's not discuss the downside of things.

My prayers were hindered because of anger this summer.  I kept at it, persevering and expecting the Lord to work on me...and HE did!  Am I perfect? NOT! Am I doing better? YES!  I am able to pray more fervently and submissively and clearly now.  I have to pray for me and my attitude, sins, and shortcomings first--then I can concentrate on others.  It's a daily walk.  Just as the sun arises anew each morning, God's faithfulness is fresh as the sunrise.  As the sun causes the flowers to bloom, God's Holy Spirit is at work in us to cause His Nature to thrive in us!  As we move closer to the trial of this young murderer...the emotions will flare up, the thoughts will run rampant, and the soul will struggle...it is the human condition.  We have to remember to look up and know...we are in the world and not of it! We have the power to overcome by the Power of the Holy Spirit to surrender those human passions to Christ...so that our feelings, thoughts, mouths are not used by the enemies of our souls....we cannot let the weeds and bugs overtake God's Nature...we need to tend to the fertile ground of our spirit to cultivate great and wondrous things...not the unsightly things!

NEVER SAY NEVER!

I have learned over the years to "never say never"!  Every time I did...I ate those words!  I said I would never return to the Catholic Church---I returned  in 2006. I said I would not forgive this person or that person....and I did!  I said I would never eat sour cream in salsa...and I eat it like that all the time!  Is this why Jesus said, "let your yea be yea and nay be nay"?  HE KNOWS WE ARE A WORK IN PROGRESS AND HE IS NOT DONE WITH US YET!

I love to tell people my story because I am not a Catholic because someone messed with my head or that it was ingrained in me as a youngster so naturally I would return to it in later years....nope none of that is why I came back!  I am a very inquisitive person, ( wonder if I drove my mother crazy with that word "why")?  My soul is never satisfied, and it is never content to stay in one mode!  The Holy Spirit drives me to seek more and more, because in doing so, I learn and I appreciate my God and my Lord Jesus Christ more deeply.

 The key is to always ask questions, God is very Gracious to answer!  Every question Jesus asks in the Gospels is not for Himself...they are for us to consider something not so obvious...when He said, "when the Son of Man returns will He find faith on the earth"?  Doesn't that sound like He is implying...perhaps there might not be...much?  So why are we surprised so many don't believe in God and want Christians to just shut up now?  He predicted that.  Why did Paul say some were sick and died because they took Communion unworthily?  If its just a symbol....how can it make you sick or die?  Why is it, the men on the Road to Emmaus could not recognize Jesus until after He blessed the bread and gave it to them?  "He was known to them in the breaking of bread"...these kinds of questions stirred my spirit.  No pastors could answer to my satisfaction.  When I kept digging, reading, praying, and seeking...God revealed and spoke to me about the Sacramental Life...or as the early Christians called ...The Way.  He opened my understanding.  God took my by the hand and taught me everything I know....no one in the Church did.  I returned after I learned--I was not brainwashed or coerced or led by anyone but the Spirit.

Of course, not everyone is born Catholic.  Not everyone is afforded to even hear the Gospel...and are born into poverty and Islam or Voodoo or Buddhism or Hinduism or even atheism.  Does God not care about them?  The bible says that our "understanding" needs to be opened.  If "the Cross is hidden to those who are perishing"....is God letting them all die?  So...I did what I always do and went to the Father to ask!
We assume alot as humans or I should say presume.  God loves all mankind.  He can reach anyone anywhere at any time...HE is not bound by time and space or any force.

  The bible speaks of different degrees of reward some 30, some 60 and some 100 fold.  The angels are of differing ranks...Lucifer was one of the Seraphim...highest rank of angels...next to God's Throne....and there are lesser angels....the very temple has an outer court, inner court, and then the Holy of Holies.  These are clues.  God's Word says," to him who knows to do good and does not do it, it is sin".  Well in our society and our world...there are good people who never heard the Gospel that are good souls...God does not forget that.  It also says, "love covers a multitude of sins"....seems the nastiest jerk may do a kind turn for someone (and we'd never know)...but God saw it and does not forget.  God is present all the time and at work drawing men to Himself.  That is why Pope Francis does not presume to judge anyone.  None of us can do that. WE only have guidelines of what God wants and doesn't want...we have a moral compass to give us "light" in a "dark" world in the Scriptures and the Church.

  Someone has to steer the sheep, feed them, protect them, guide them....and that is why Jesus chose 12 men, and had an inner circle of 3 and then appointed Peter....differing degrees based on purposes HE had in mind...then...came Paul! Paul was a "never say never" fellow too!  Perhaps that is why I like him so!  He too was opposed to some things he didn't understand until God knocked down a notch or two...taught him personally and then look what he did!!!  God knocked me down and picked me up and taught me too!  I ain't no saint, and I am not gonna transform the world but I did change alot---I did what I said I wouldn't!! Keep your heart open, your mind thinking, your soul moving, and always keep asking!!

THE KARATE KID?

Who doesn't want the internal peace and power of Mr. Miagi?  I strive for that self-control and internal power that the martial arts seem to convey.  I want to be in a state of contentment and the ability to choose how to react if at all.  I think this is what I love about the movie "The Karate Kid"!  The sense of justice, the inner peace and self-control, and the power to choose to react and how...and they make it look so easy!

Actually, I want the love, wisdom and joy that Mother Angelica displays on EWTN as well---that mix of the two--is that possible?  Isn't that what we hope for in our transformation through the Holy Spirit?  Why is it so hard to achieve?  We read the Scriptures, pray, spend time in meditation and devotion, and feel we have attained some sense of balance and peace in our soul...only to get up and walk outside into the real world and BOOM!!  Ugh! The world and its crap smacks us down so fast and we wonder how come we cannot seem to maintain the spiritual joy and peace and self-control!

The brothers and sisters religious detach from the world.  We as parents, spouses, siblings and employees can hardly detach in the way they do.  We have no time for one thing!  The obligations beckon and insist on so much time!  Society is so very mobile and integrated into technology that we have become saturated with its connectivity...addicts if you will...

I have been seriously trying to get myself weaned off of too much computer stuff.  It's hard when family and friends are all on facebook and you miss them.  The emails that used to be flooding our inboxes with jokes, rumors, lies and funnies...are all gone!  For Pete's sake, nobody wants to write a letter?  I sat down to write a few that I promised I would....and for a tad bit...my handwriting was atrocious because of lack of use! I didn't realize how much the keyboard had stolen from my hands! I bet you don't either!  It's actually funny to hear people say..."I am not much of a letter writer"....what they are saying is...I don't know what to write about and I don't want to work that hard...its so much easier to text and share and post!  Then there's the folks who are scared to death to give you their mailing address like you are the bogeyman! Are we becoming that scared of each other or so disconnected that anything closer than "share" is uncomfortable?

I am reading more books, listening to more music, talking to my teens more, working on those projects that I had not finished, and feeling a little more freer each day!  If ever I felt like a stranger or foreigner before on this planet....I really do now! Yet, I want to allow the Holy Spirit to grow stronger in me, so that I can have peace, self-control,wisdom, joy, power, love, faith, perseverance, endurance and humility.  It is only through Christ I can truly develop these things!  All the wax on and wax off will get me a nice clean car...but the peace and self-control only lasts until I drive through a mud puddle or a bird poops on it!

Do I want internet mentors like Lady Gaggy and Wiley Miley or Mother Angelica and John Michael Talbot?  What kind of music soothes my spirit?  Do the books I read cause me to think?  Are the tv shows and movies making me laugh, imagine and wholesome or are they causing me to become calloused to sin and accepting things that once were taboo?  Am I being influenced to change what I believe?  Do I feel depressed and like nothing good is in the world?  Does the spirit of unhappiness or lust fill my marriage?  Sometimes a simpler life with detachment can be lonely...but it can also be more rich and productive both physically and spiritually...and both Mother Angelica and Brother JMT know this!

I CRACK MYSELF UP!!!

I believe wholeheartedly in laughter!! It is one of God's most amazing gifts to us!  While there are things that are only funny to certain people, and humor that is not appealing to everyone----I am a firm believer in laughing at yourself!  It is a terrible thing to keep such wondrous humor to oneself! So here's my story...

My friend lives two doors down.  She is moving and its not a happy event...God has made it at least a humorous one!  We have one house that sits in between our homes.  Those neighbors moved out a few weeks ago.  I told my friend, that I would bring her some boxes home from school to help with her packing.  The next morning, I hop in my car and go to the post office and around the block to pull into my friend's driveway.  Its a beautiful crisp morning, so I bebop up to the house, open the door to the enclosed porch...and holy smokes!!! She got some SERIOUS packing done last night...EVERYTHING IS GONE! EVEN THE SWING!! So I head over to the front door....roll up my hand into a ball to knock...on.....the....door....but .....it's ....and I turn to gaze at ....my friend's house thru the window...OMGOSH! I AM IN THE WRONG HOUSE!!!!!!  Now I know that ALL THE NEIGHBORS AROUND SAW ME DO THIS....so I just nonchalantly walk to my car, open door, get in and drive around the block as if I had meant to go to that house!!  I then call my friend...explaining my misfortune...CRACKING UP AS I PULL UP TO HER DRIVEWAY---and gave us the best laugh we needed during this stressful time!!

Now, this same friend and I shared a belly splitting laugh over this one...but she is still reeling from what I did yesterday....(wincing as I am about to tell on myself again)....I took her to McDonald's drive thru to get something for her husband.  Mind you, I drove right up to the box and then kept going....never saw it!  She's telling me to order a diet, and a daily double....now folks....I ask her, "Diet what?" and she says, "just a diet" and I am perplexed...."diet what? How they gonna know what she wants? " and then I drove by the box a second time.

She says, "you drove by it again!" Ooops!

"Okay, we go around again, now what's a daily double", I ask, thinking it sounds like a lottery ticket.

"Its a sandwich!" and now she's laughing because I drove by the order spot twice.

"Alright then diet what?" The look on her face was priceless! "They ONLY  have diet coke here, they don't have diet anything else so I just say 'diet' and they know what I want!"....as I concentrated on what she was saying....drove by the box a  third time? She yells, "you did it again!!!"

"Where is it? I don't see the black box!"
"Right there! That white thing!" she replies.
"Oh that thing? I kept looking for a black box...."

So with this history behind us yesterday---the wrong house episode flipped us both out!!!  I shall miss her but I am happy to send her off with some joyful giggles!!!

TWO KINGDOMS

 I had a dream about explaining to someone the two kingdoms of this world...the one of this present life with all its woes and sorrows and toil--and the one of the everlasting that comes after.  I woke up thinking about the "veil" that covers our hearts so that the soul cannot see and know what is true and real.  The curse of sin that satan goaded humanity into caused the loss of Light within our souls, so that it is darkened or covered so that its understanding and vision are obscured and limited. (2 Corinthians 3:16). It hides the Truth of Christ, His Sacraments, and His Word.  St. Paul speaks of the natural man not able to grasp the Truth because they are spiritually discerned...without the Spirit of Truth--one cannot understand. (1 Corinthians 2:9-16).  How angry sometimes we get at those who can't see what is so very obvious to us! We forget that they cannot see what we know...we don't expect a baby to know algebraic equations do we?  So why do we get frustrated at those who insist on worldly thinking because their souls have not been converted into His Kingdom?  Jesus clearly describes two very conflicting and different worlds--The Word even  makes distinctions of "those of the world" and "those chosen out of it"... the world of Pharoah and Egypt with its wealth, worship of false gods, and sexual pleasures  and the world of Ceasar and Rome with its barbaric authority and power and class divisions... versus the Kingdom of God.

One must be born again into the Kingdom of God thru conversion and the transforming power of Christ thru the Sacrament of Baptism...born of water and of Spirit...cleansing away the original sin of darkness off of the soul and "marking" that soul for God in this present darkness--anointed with Holy Oil into the priesthood of believers in Confirmation, to the continual cleansing of Sacramental Confession or Reconciliation with Him, and receive His Life in the Hidden Manna of the Holy Communion...all partaking of the Grace He opens to us in following Christ.  He has offered this Grace also in Holy Matrimony, Holy Orders and Anointing of the Sick as well...thoroughly equipping us for every need while in this world!  We may physically be present in pharoah, ceasar, and satan's world here and now...and at the same time be spiritually present in the Kingdom of God...I believe this is why there are two creation stories in Genesis...and the meaning of the vision of "wheel within a wheel" in the Old Testament.  One kingdom is temporary  and the other is Everlasting!

THE SEASON OF CHANGE

It is apparent that autumn is rounding the corner, as the leaves are beginning to turn and the corn and beans are showing signs of impending harvest!  Schools are back in session and its a new year of routine and expectations for everyone.  The summers are filled with activities and long days...and we dread thinking of what comes after the fall season--cold, snow, ice and short days with darkened evenings.

Being at the lake alot this summer, and seeing nature from the water...sets my mind to contemplation.  The two most beautiful scenes are the sunrise and the sunset--the beginning and the end of the day!  Our lives are like a day...we are born....a beginning...and all the events and memories come full circle to the end of the day!  Oh what joy when a child is born!  The springtime of growing, developing and maturing...opening up to the fullness of beauty...to finally begin to change...and anticipate the harvest.  

We cry alot when there is death.  It seems so unfair, so final, and so stark in its stillness...compared to the love, warmth, smiles and joy of living.  I know, that death is only the beginning for those who love Christ! It is my belief that because of His Grace and Mercy--death is the doorway to the best the God Our Father has to offer us...yet sorrow sometimes overwhelms me.  To see one wither and age and go through loss of dignity, senses, intellect, and vitality is hurtful...even worse if its sudden, accidental or because of evil!  But I have resolved to think of birth as a sunrise and springtime...and  old age as the autumn of our souls...and death as the sunset...just the end of their day here on earth for the body...and springtime again for their souls!

  I think too much of what they should be doing here in this life--and not enough about how fantastic their sunrise was in Heaven! The most wondrous blessing is knowing that in God's Presence there is no sunset...the colors and beauty of that is present all the time...it never recedes into darkness!  There is no winter of darkness, coldness and fear!  Though I shall continue to think that if I wanted to enjoy the beauty of snow He would allow me that! Perhaps a winter wonderland with no slipping and accidents on ice?

Syria As The World Watches

The President of the United States, Barack Obama is going to speak in a few minutes on tv about whether to do anything to Syria since the use of biological weapons has killed 1,429 innocent people and of those were 426 children...we wait to hear if we will stand by and let them deal with their own problems or if we will militarily strike to let them know those kinds of weapons will not be tolerated.

We know that if the Syrian regime is taken down, a vacuum of power will bring disastrous results.  I guess the lesser of two evils is to allow Assad to continue or deal with much worse in the aftermath of regime change. They know the opposition forces can bring terrorists to power.  It is known the opposition forces are being helped by Sunni extremist Muslims...the same enemy we faced in Iraq are in Iran and are in the Taliban in Afghanistan...it is also known that they murder Christians...so do we stand by while children are innocently slaughtered?

We as Christians, ought to look at the picture of Our Blessed Mother holding her Son, Our Lord, after His Death.  How much death there is in the world!  The same evil spirits that roam the world seeking the ruin of souls are still very active 2013 yrs after His Death.  While men make choices based on intel, passions, greed, ego, and every motive to human flesh---we ought to be praying using weapons of the Spirit!  We ought to be confessings sins, fasting, praying for the world, country by country, lifting them up to the Father!  The "world" is blinded by their own spirit of flesh, they have no Insight from the Holy Spirit.  They think rationally and logically and do not consider things can be changed by prayer and by repentance.

I can speak to a person who does not read the bible, prays superficially, thinks Church is stupid and too bossy...and not be able to ever agree on anything.  The Christian who reads the Word, who examines themselves for sins and weaknesses and vices--who attends Church and prays as a People of God, who obeys God's Precepts....has a very different view of the world they live in!  The flesh lives in fear...fear of death, of losing control, of being overcome, of surrender.  The Christian strives to live in power...confident of life even in the face of death, of letting God have His Way, of walking in His Power thru His Holy Spirit.  The two sides will never agree and cannot.  One is a natural thinker, planner and reactor....the other is a supernatural thinker, a vessel for use, who acts not reacts....who will always see things in a different Light.

The images of dead children gassed to death is to appeal to the horror in this world.  Yet there are no images allowed of the horrors of abortions killing mass amounts of children each day.  The pull of our emotions to intervene to retaliate against Assad when we know the LORD says in Romans 12:20-21 that HE is the vengeance.  Yes, death is terrible!  The second death is worse!  It is one thing to die in the flesh---but to die in the spirit is eternal!  If we decide to strike Syria it is noted that we don't want to bring terrorists to power who may get their hands on nuclear weapons and biological weapons that may in the future be used against us! This is thinking long-term.

 We should be grieving for those who die without Christ...that is a long-term situation for them!  Like Mary grieving over her Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, we should be grieving over the souls who die daily into eternal consequences!  Yes we should cry for the dead children...but also for those who killed them. Devil has immense power but our God is greater!  We must snag those souls from his grasp! Jesus wants those souls...every single one.  We must pray for the leaders of the world.  We must pray against the evils of terrorism.  We must make laws in view of God's Laws. We must elect leaders who fear Him.  We must not compromise with the world and its society of death...the Church must continue to be the Light in Darkness...not an machine gun taking down everyone who  does wrong.  WE must fight the fight of faith...both personally and in the Church. The Church says killing in Syria will only escalate...we must pray and we must get them to talk out a peace plan...a compromise.